Living with Inspiration

In 2000, at the age of 48, my life turned into a flury of dramatic changes. My youngest son left home, my 17 yr. marriage ended, my grandmother died, I moved to a new state, to a new apartment and new job. Then to a new area, to a new house and a new job. It was far away from my children but it was a beautiful and peaceful place, and they loved to visit by the shores and was glad to have a place to come and stay on their vacations.

My life had calmed down and I was happy again and looking forward to a bright future with Bob, a sweet, caring gentleman I had met. Then in October of that same year, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and given only a 20% chance of survival.
I couldn’t believe that my time had come. I don’t think I ever really accepted it. I remember thinking of all the things I had (or hadn’t) done in the past. The unfinished projects, the “someday” plans that never materialized.

We had a dog, Sparky, who seemed to know my sorrow. I would cry and he would lay his head across my feet and whimper. When I was happy, Sparky was happy. When I was sad, he was sad.

Things looked pretty bleak, but Sparky was always there for me to hold and cuddle. And Bob was always there to lead me on.
Bob was wonderful. I call him my guardian angel because God sent him to me at a time when I needed someone to help me through. I found new meaning to the poem “footprints in the sand”. God had sent someone to carry me through.

Bob went with me to every doctor appointment, was with me constantly before and after my surgery. He sat with me through all of my sixteen 3-4 hour chemo treatments, all of my 30 radiation treatments, all of my checkups during and afterwards. Bob was with me every step of the way. He cooked, cleaned, did laundry, kept the fireplace going to keep me warm, and laughed at me when I repeatedly put on sweaters, jackets, hoods, and blankets because I was still cold and then pulled them off 2 minutes later because I felt like I was burning up, and then started putting them on again 2 minutes later. It was an endless uncomfortable cycle, but we still found it amusing and had to make jokes and laugh about it.

That seems so long ago now and my life still seems to be ever changing, but it has been 6 1/2 years since I was first diagnosed. I presently have no signs of cancer.

As I play with grandkids or after I have a nice talk with one of my children, I am so thankful for all of the people who helped me through the worst time of my life. Bob, my children who always called to check on me and came to visit when they could, my doctors, the medical staff, the American Cancer Society for all the research fundraisers are the obvious…and of course, Sparky.

But it is the unseen, unknown people who I can give my gratitude to even more. All of those who search for the cure, all of those who unselfishly donate so a cure can be found, all of those who raise the awareness of the need to find a cure. All others like me who participate in clinical trials. There are so many people that I can thank for my survival. I don’t know who they all are, but God does.

I’m in another state now. Since then my mother has died of cancer, my best friend of cancer, and my brother of heart disease and diabetes Yes, there are still a flurry of changes, but I’m alive and I can enjoy every day of that life, thanks to all those who care.