Living with Anxiety

I had always thought that I was a pretty upbeat person especially for with all of the things that had happened in my life. Looking back I see that I had a lot of stress that I was not dealing with at all. My real troubles began when I lost my grandmother, found out my husband was having an affair, and my 2 year old son developed a serious illness. All of these things hit at once & within the next 2 years GAD began to take it’s toll on me.

My symptoms started with constant worry about everything. I also would constantly put myself down & my whole personality took on changes. It seemed I was angry all of the time. I was working 2 jobs to make ends meet and one day on my way to work my hands began to get numb. It was winter & I thought it was due to cold so I dismissed it. Over the next few weeks off & on I experienced symptoms of numbness & tingling in my hands, feet, face, & tongue. I was too afraid to go to the doctor because I dreaded of hearing the worst.

Six months of fighting the numbness and then my first & major panic attack hit. I thought I was going to die or pass out. I experienced tunnel vision & heart palpitations. I did go to doctor 2 days later & somehow was diagnosed with Allergy attacks possibly due to nuts. The panic attacks continued coming more frequently & lasting longer. As soon as one ended, another began. I was finally tested for allergies & found out the only thing I was allergic to was wasp stings. By this time I could not work & had pretty much became housebound.

After Thyroid testing & a number of other tests I was diagnosed with Pheochromacytoma (a rare tumor that was fatal unless it was removed on time). I felt like a walking time bomb & the panic was neverending. I was afraid to go to the bathroom by myself. After MRI the tumor diagnosis was removed & it was back to square one. I found a website that talked about GAD after entering some of my symptoms. Startling easy, numbness, and I really remember a strong feeling that there was a pill or something stuck in my throat all of the time.

After reading about GAD, I printed it & took it to my doctor & told him to follow up on it, cause I was convinced that I had it. Six months later my doctor diagnosed me with it. For the next year I battled trying different medications, and antidepressants while still struggling with panic symptoms, until one night I found a program I ordered from the Midwest Center for Anxiety & Depression. It was a 15 cd course with homework & everything. Three weeks into the program & I did not have any more panic attacks. After completing the course I was medication free. I still listen to my CD’s when I get those feelings of being overwhelmed & stressed out, but I now have coping skills to help me thru it. I am so thankful for finding this program & I would advise anybody suffering with anxiety & depression to order it.

My doctor had said I would suffer this the rest of my life & remain on medication the rest of my life. I am proving him wrong. Medication is a bandaid for the problem & the real cure is retraining your thinking process. I did not know it until about 2 months ago, that my grandfather had suffered from panic disorder, so I guess mine was hereditary. I am also now seeing signs of it in my son. I would advise all parents to watch for this in their children. They see our negative views & soak them up like a sponge. I am still striving to be positive. It is a daily battle but I believe I will make the best that life has to offer. Good luck to all of you suffering with this disorder.